Random Christmas Joke

December 14, 1972

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always, Agnes

---

December 15, 1972

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes

---

December 16, 1972

Dear John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my love, Agnes

---

December 17, 1972

Dear John:

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.

Affectionately, Agnes

---

December 18, 1972

Dearest John:

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes

---

December 19, 1972

Dear John:

When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

Cordially, Agnes

---

December 20, 1972

John:

What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.

Sincerely, Agnes

---

December 21, 1972

O.K. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.

Agnes

---

December 22, 1972

Hey Shithead:

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours! Agnes

---

December 23, 1972

You rotten prick:

Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.

I'm calling the police on you! Agnes

---

December 24, 1972

Listen Fuckhead:

What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

Your sworn enemy, Agnes

---

December 25, 1972

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole

Leon Jackson wins X-Factor

Well he was my favourite choice to win and I am glad he did.

Scottish crooner Leon Jackson has won the fourth series of ITV talent search the X Factor.

"It's not real," said the stunned 18-year-old as he took the prize of a £1 million recording contract. "Thank you for everybody who voted."

Second place went to Welsh tenor Rhydian Roberts, while sibling act Same Difference came third.

Leon's single - a rewritten version of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston's When You Believe - is out on Monday.

He is likely to scoop the coveted Christmas number one next week, following in the footsteps of the last two X Factor winners, Shayne Ward and Leona Lewis.

Christmas Fun Facts and Trivia

The largest Christmas pud weighed 7,231 pounds (3,280 kilos) and took the villagers of Aughton, England seven days to make.

• Holly was originally hung to ward off witches. Mistletoe was prized by the ancient British Druids as a fertility symbol.
• English Christmas carols, which date to the 13th century, were once banned from the church because they had become too theatrical and raucous. Carol singers resorted to wandering around towns and villages, hence the tradition of singing door to door.
• The modern day Christmas tree was popularized in England by Queen Victoria’s husband, Prince Albert, whose picture in front of a Christmas tree in 1848 was printed around the world.
• The first Christmas card was designed in 1842 by John Horsley for England’s Sir Henry Cole.
• By 1860, the British postmaster was already advising people to mail their cards early.
• The modern day image of Santa was created in 1931 by Swedish American artist Sundblom, whose widely popular oil paintings of jolly old Saint Nicholas appeared in a long-running series of holiday advertisements for 'Coca-Cola'.
• The first Christmas tree originated in the eighth century, when St. Boniface of Crediton, an English Missionary in Germany, reportedly chopped down a sacred oak.

Father Christmas ?

Well its nearly Christmas, well its not there is still a few weeks to go.

I was going to start writing my christmas cards but I really can't be bothered at the moment, so they can wait for a little bit longer.

Anyway, I was looking for a picture to send to someone in an email, and actually found a few. So here is Father Christmas, but slightly looking younger.

By the way Vodka is the cure to everything ;)

Croc Forces Passenger of Rome Flight

A passenger was forced off a Ryanair flight from Rome to Milan because she refused to move her metre-long plush crocodile which was blocking an emergency exit, airport sources said on Wednesday.

The flight, delayed by the squabble between the airline flight attendant and the passenger, finally took off after she got off the plane, along with her inanimate crocodile.

Ryanair said in a statement the passenger was asked to leave for refusing repeated requests to handle her hand luggage as required under flight safety rules.

Tuesday is Random

Well a day of on Tuesday makes a nice change, went out last night got very drunk, so just recovering today.  Its raining so I'm not going out, so heres a random post, of some pictures I just came across on my PC.

Victor Valdes

Víctor Valdés Arribas (born 14 January 1982 in L'Hospitalet de Llobregat, Barcelona, Catalonia, Spain), nicknamed Víctor, is a Spanish football goalkeeper, who currently plays for FC Barcelona of the Spanish La Liga. Before joining the principal team in 2002/03 season, Víctor played for the youth teams and Barca B. Currently, he has a contract with Barcelona until 2010.

Valdes started his career with Barca's youth team when he joined from Peña Cinco Copas on 1 July 1992. But in September, he moved with his family to Tenerife and had to leave the club, rejoining only three years later.

After returning, he made quick progress through the youth system and was made part of the senior squad in the 2002-03 season. The early part of the season saw him play deputy to Argentine international Roberto Bonano. The arrival of Radomir Antic as the new coach saw regular first team opportunities for him.

Peace One Day

Peace One Day began life as a film project, the vision of one man, British filmmaker, Jeremy Gilley. Launched in September 1999, Peace One Day has gained active support from governments through to individuals the world over. In September 2001, Peace One Day achieved its primary objective: a United Nations General Assembly Resolution (A/Res/55/282), put forward by the UK and Costa Rican governments, was unanimously adopted by UN member states formally establishing an annual day of global ceasefire and non-violence on the UN International Day of Peace – Peace Day – fixed in the global calendar on 21 September.

Jeremy Gilley and Peace One Day continue the journey to inform the world’s people of the Day's existence, engaging them in the Day's observance in accordance with UN GA Resolution 55/282. The finished feature-length documentary Peace One Day has played all over the world and has become a powerful tool in the awareness-raising process.

In 2006, for the first time in the Day’s history, Peace One Day successfully drove the initiative to instigate commitments to Peace Day in 200 countries, including all 192 UN member states, directly involving 27.6 million people. On 21 September 2006 there were life-saving activities by humanitarian organisations in southern Sudan and the DRC with immunisation campaigns in a further nine countries worldwide; there were peace marches, festivals, music events, multi-faith celebrations, sports events, debates, parties, dance events, and the Song for Peace initiative, which involved 2.2 million young people in over 6,000 schools across the UK.

Where ever you go

I have always liked Where ever you go by the calling, the words have meaning and its a good song, and well the calling is a good group.

I came across a YouTube video of someone singing it and thought it was actually a good rendition of the song.

Haven't you noticed that if you listen to the words of songs they are actually better than just listening to the music, unless of course you can't understand the words lol.

"And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you"

 

Supernatural Season 3 Jenson Ackles / Jared Padalecki

My favourite series is back, the new season of Supernatural is due to start Thursday October 4th on The CW in the US, no dates yet for ITV showings in the UK.

The thrilling and terrifying journey of the Winchester Brothers continues with the third season of SUPERNATURAL on The CW.

Twenty-two years ago, Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki, "Gilmore Girls," "House of Wax") and Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles, "Smallville," "Dark Angel") lost their mother to a mysterious and demonic supernatural force. Subsequently, their father John (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, "Grey's Anatomy") raised them to be soldiers. He taught them about the paranormal evil that lives in the dark corners and on the back roads of America... and he taught them how to kill it.

Sam, however, wanted nothing to do with this violent and dangerous life, and he left it behind until the day Dean appeared on his doorstep with troubling news. Their father had gone missing on a "hunting trip."

Sam and Dean have spent the last year cruising the highways of the United States in their 1967 Chevy Impala, searching for their lost father. Along the way, they battled various supernatural threats, and each other as well, for their sibling rivalries and conflicts were never far from the surface. Finally, they found their father, just as he was closing in on the demon who claimed their mother. After a climactic confrontation, the demon escaped, leaving the three Winchester men in dire shape.

So the Winchesters' mission continues. They travel the country, encountering creatures that most people believe exists only in folklore, superstition and nightmares -- vampires, spirits, revenants, reapers, even bloody clowns.

Wherever they go, the brothers continue their search for the demon that destroyed their family. During their last confrontation, the demon said he had plans for "Sam and all the children like him." Now Sam must also decipher what this means and uncover the dark secrets buried within his own past and within his family's history.

From Warner Bros. Television in association with Wonderland Sound and Vision, with executive producers McG ("Charlie's Angels," "The O.C."), writer/executive producer Eric Kripke ("Boogeyman"), Robert Singer ("Midnight Caller"), and John Shiban ("The X-Files").

Do you know me ?

I was sitting at home just browsing the net doing nothing in particular and a thought came into my head, the thought was simple, it was Do you know me ?

Did you know the answer to that is simple, I don't think anyone really knows me, I have lots of friends, people I go out with, but none of them really know me.

I have always learnt to keep myself to myself, don't get me wrong, I'm not quiet, I enjoy having fun, but I always keep myself and my personal life private.  Why ? you may ask.  Well the reason why is complicated and defiantely not something I am going to go into on a blog. 

In everyone's life's things happen that direct us into a certain direction we have to go.  I don't like being directed so rather than follow a course that many people would have, I built a barrier around myself, the barrier is my friendliness, my loudness, the way I am considerate and the way I care.  But you know what, that's not really me, yes I am friendly, caring and considerate, but that's only the outside.

The real me is in my opinion lovely, but then again we all have a biased view about ourselves don't we ?

It would be nice one day, just to meet someone I feel so comfortable with that they can know the real me, I can't see that ever happening, but then again I'm an optimist so I don't rule anything out.

One day I would like to wake up and say I hate something or someone, but so far no one has ever got me to the stage of hate, because after all everything has its good points, even bad things do.  You may not see them, but the good is always there.

The sun is shining

The sun is shining which always starts the day of well in my opinion.

As normal I have lots to do today, including going into work this afternoon, which i must admit annoys me a bit, a day of is not really a day off if you have to go into work for a bit, but nevermind I will live with it.

Was chatting about going on holiday with a mate the other night, and the idea gets more and more appealing, and I think I may pop out in a bit and go and renew my passport.  Can't get far without a passport lol.

I broke my phone last night, I don't know how, the battery just gave up.  I have had to get out my old one, which doesn't bother me as I actually like my old phone, only changed it because it did not have a camera in it, but I don't really use the camera anyway so I can do without my phone until I choose to replace it.

Quote of the Day :
"Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing."

Some people may not like the above quote, tough its funny get over it.

Todays random video is Dj Tiesto 'Power Mix' Basically its a compilation. If you don't like trance/dance you won't like this lol.

 

Someday's are strange days

I don't know what it is with today, its my day off and I have been completely bore out of my mind.

I wanted to go shopping, but its been raining, I did some washing and then I got completely annoyed about something someone had done.

Why the hell do people have to be fake ?  You think you know someone, you think you have made a good friend, and it turns out that its all a load of rubbish.

I went to a party down the road from me not so long ago, met some cool people, we talk, we have fun, we get on.

Went to a party with people from online, again met some cool people, again chatted, had fun etc, but you know the most annoying thing about it, despite me making the effort most of the people I thought was cool or nice, can't be bothered. 

I have worked out I am a bad judge of character.  Well actually that's not true, I am great judge of character, but after a few drinks it sort of goes out of the window.  I'm going to stick to first impressions, that way it does not bother me, if I come home from meeting people and they can't be bothered.

How about a nice video today, this is of Alex Pettyfer no particular reason for it, apart from he's a local boy, the song is good, and Stormbreaker was a good film.  So three reasons for this.

The song is 'Bad Boy' by

Cascada

Habits

Isn't it strange how we all have habits, and we don't always notice them.

For example we know about general habits, like smoking, drinking etc, but what about the silly habits that annoy other people.

One habit that really annoys me is some peoples habit of totally not looking at you when they are speaking to you, it makes me wonder whether they are speaking to me or just speaking for the sake of it.

I know I can often be just as bad, but I try my best to actually look at the person I am speaking to, because I find it quite rude otherwise.

Mind you saying that, I may have manners but I can be very blunt and rude without even thinking about it. 

All these stop smoking adverts are getting annoying, they are totally pointless, if people want to give up they know where to go, we have seen the adverts enough now.  Where is all this money coming from to pay for the adverts, us tax payers, so if you don't smoke you are paying for the smokers to give up, so you are still being taxed for smokers.

The no smoking ban from 1st of July will stop lots of people smoking, so the adverts are still pointless.

 

Vodka is the Cure to Everything

Why is it that we feel the need to go out and get completely drunk on a weekend, it is such an English thing, you go to many countries and there is not the binge drinking.

You know what, I don't actually care, I enjoy spending weekends with my friends, and if I just happen to get drunk on the weekend, then thats all the better.

Also when you have had a few drinks everything seems better, so vodka really is the cure to everything.

I'm not condoning drinking and alcoholism, after all thats a personal thing, only if you choose to drink lots should you. But never blame circumstances for your drinking problems, drinking is a choice, you are not forced to do it.

It really annoys me when you see Alcoholics on TV programs complaining about their lives, and how their kids or family have drove them to drink, thats a load of rubbish. They picked up a can and opened it, it was not put in their hands by someone else.

Yes drinking can be addictive, but as with anything, if you get addicted then you go to your doctors or health center and seek help, not continue to do something which is something you say you don't want to do.

I suppose I should get out of bed and actually do something, although its Sunday so its a great day for being lazy, and I am not working tomorrow so can really chill today, even though I am sure I am supposed to be helping someone do something, but I cant remember if its today or tomorrow, oh well nevermind a quick phonecall will solve that issue up.

Supernatural : The Winchesters

Todays random video is a compilation of scenes from Supernatural featuring Jared Padalecki and Jenson Ackles as Sam and Dean Winchester. One of my favourite TV series

Hanson - Taking the Walk Teaser

Its a Saturday so that means as normal I feel slightly rough, drunk way to much last night, but it was Friday so its allowed.

Today has been a completely boring day, all I have done is sat down and watched TV and browsed the net.

I came across a few good sites, I don't think one in particular jumped out at me, but one thing I did notice was that hanson (famous for the hit mmm bop) is going to release a new album, don't get me wrong I never actually thought that much of Hanson, however after hearing a few of there tracks, they totally suprised me.

They are a mix of rock and roll but in a more mainstream popified way.

Taking The Walk trailer

Skins - Wild World - Series 1 Finale (With Mp3)

Skins End Song 'Wild World'

Its a shame Skins is finished, I cant wait for season 2, but for now heres the ending to Season 1 with the song sung by the cast (not sure if its their real voices though)

I actually quite like this song

The acting is great, its funny, it has sex, drugs, rock and roll, in fact everything that makes a program fun to watch.

The finality of things

Life is such a mystery at times, things happen you don't know why they don't make sense at the time, but your decision in a matter may be final, sometimes there is no going back.

Everyday we make decisions, normally minor ones like what are we going to be having for tea, what happens when major decisions come along, you notice how many people say something on the spur of the moment then regret it, does that make sense to not think before you comment ? I suppose its so easy just to say what you think, but thats such a bad decision when what you say may have the effect of finality (ie no way to change it)

How about when someone says 'I love you' should you say it back and mean it or say it back as an automated response ? Many people just say it as a response never really with feeling.

How about when you decide to leave something, be it a job or something else, how easy is it just to say, i've had enough I'm off, the problem with that often you don't think about things and its then too late to change your mind.

I was chatting to someone to day and I noticed something, that I'm sure I've mentioned before lol its about how so many people always look at the bad things in something, never the good things, every situation can be turned into a good one, so why do people love hating things, love seeing things as bad ? I've never understood that, I will probably die never understanding that.

Always remember there is a good thing in every situation, you may have to look hard for it, but its always there, so when ever you are feeling down don't think about what's making you feel down think of whats good about the situation.

Never make a decision thats final until you are sure, if you are never going to be certain about something admit it to yourself and admit it to others involved.

Happiness has many forms and can come when you least expect it, if you never look for it, it will hit you, thats when you find true happiness, don't be scared, embrace the happiness, make it meaningfull, make it part of you.

Today's Randomness

A good day is a random day.

Today's featured actor is erm I'm not sure, I know how about Daniel Radcliffe, I have just finished reading Chamber of Secrets, even though the book has been out for ages. I might actually go and buy the whole set of books, as reading can be pleasant at times.

Now I don't really think boring pictures from Harry Potter will do, so how about some images from the Theatre production he appears in.

He is so not like people expected, he actually looks manly rather than a kid, but then again you would have to be a man to get naked on a stage I suppose, well it would be rather illegal otherwise.

I still think his body hair looks a bit fake, but nevermind hes actually hot.

Don't you reckon its fake fur ?